Facing a Past's Shadow"
by Shinigami's Voice
Summary: The G-pilots are captured and face torture in their enemy's hands. They are ready to hold on against everything, but when a man burst into the story, Duo recognizes him as the author of the Maxwell Massacre! How will he endure this mental torture? Will hi
1. torture

Author's Notes: Gee, minna-san, I've missed the net! What happened? Well, my kingdom of the dead claimed my presence for a while and I couldn't go back to the realm of the living to type, you know.that means, my laptop fried! Totally fried, it's already in the afterlife. After a week of begging, I'm borrowing my sister's, so here we come.  
  
This is sorta sequel to "Musings", because lots of things here won't make sense if you haven't read it. Angst and Duo, like usual. When the G-boys are captured, they face torture in their captors' hands. However, they are ready to hold on against anything, but when a former OZ's general shows up, Duo recognizes him as...the author of the Maxwell Massacre. How will 02 react when this man throws in his face his painful memories? Will Duo finally break?  
  
* ---- * this marks Duo's memories.  
  
  
  
"Facing a Past's Shadow"  
  
  
  
Captured. The five Gundam Pilots had been captured. The mission: failed. Their orders had been sabotaged, sending them right into a New Oz's trap.  
  
The pilots were kneeling, their hands and ankles cuffed and a dozen of armed soldiers were surrounding them.  
  
"Damn!" -Duo cursed in low voice.  
  
  
  
"There's no honor in this. A vile ambush" -Wufei added.  
  
  
  
"Vile, but very well prepared" -Quatre murmured- "Whoever planned this, was really careful"  
  
  
  
"Indeed" -was Trowa's agreement.  
  
  
  
"The orders were sent to 02" -Heero murmured as he eyed the priestly boy beside him.  
  
  
  
"And exactly what do you mean with that?" -Duo muttered back.  
  
  
  
"Silence!" -a soldier ordered, coming near to the prisoners, his gun trained on 02.  
  
  
  
"Chill, man, we were just talking about the weather, ya know?" -Duo replied with a grin.  
  
  
  
The hilt of the gun struck 02's face, making him tumble.  
  
  
  
"Take them to the cells!" -the one in lead ordered, clearly exasperated.  
  
  
  
They were dragged and thrown to a cold shielded prison, partially illuminated by two dusty lamps.  
  
  
  
"Baka" -was the first thing Heero grunted.  
  
  
  
"What?!" -Duo complained- "At least we are not cuffed anymore"  
  
  
  
"They must be planning what to do with us" -04 commented.  
  
  
  
"That is, how to torture us to break our strength in order to get the data they want, to be more specific" -Wufei said in flat tone.  
  
  
  
"Whatever happens, we will not give in to their methods. None of us" -Trowa said aloud, his expression calm.  
  
They all nodded in agreement.  
  
  
  
---o---  
  
  
  
"I got them in my hands..."  
  
The sub commander of New Oz watched carefully the monitor which pictured the cell where the prisoners where held.  
  
"Maybe in a couple of days, they'll break down. I'm almost sure..I need to get that data about the suits and the systems in little time...."  
  
  
  
"It won't be so easy, commander"  
  
  
  
A tall man, with a horrible scar crossing his right eye, nearly in his 50s, came closer to the Ozie.  
  
  
  
"It's been four days and they hadn't said a word, right? They won't crack even if you keep kicking, punching or starving them. They won't say a word. They've been trained that way..."  
  
  
  
The sub commander frowned, not quite happy. He looked at the screen again, at the image of the five boys. The best, roughest of his soldiers had been working them out, but failed miserably. Not one useful word spilled.  
  
  
  
"You may be right, general" -the commander replied.  
  
The 'general' was a retired officer, one of the 1st Oz's generals, the ones in charge to terrify the colonies years ago. Now, he had been called to work for New Oz.  
  
"Maybe I should leave this case in your hands as we have planned since the beginning. You will take care of them with those new mental methods. Start the procedure by shaking down 02's fortitude, since you are familiar to him..."  
  
  
  
"Of course" -the man smiled with a perverse grimace- "I owe him this" -and he slid a finger over his scar- "Who would have guessed that I was going to bump with this brat again, now as a Gundam pilot? We will soon see how much can he endure a psychological torture......"  
  
  
  
---o---  
  
  
  
Those four days were like a déjà vu of beatings and shouting for the pilots. The interrogation sessions were twice, even three times a day. They took turns into punching or threatening them. However, the ozies were amazed at the stubbornness of the 5 teenagers. None of them had said a word!  
  
Not the Japanese, not the Chinese, not the blonde, not the tall European, not the American...well, to say the truth, the American had talked, but only insults, taunting and ironic jokes were the words he used to say. That joker prisoner was getting in their nerves!  
  
On the other hand, the torture couldn't weaken the pilots, just their defenses were slightly lower, but their fortitude was immobile. The really creepy thing was the coldness and closeness of the cell.  
  
Without Duo's constant chattering and black humor jokes, everything would have been silence.  
  
  
  
"Yo, Cat, what time is it?" -the 02 pilot asked from his place against the wall.  
  
Quatre was sitting in front of him, Trowa and Heero at his sides and 05 was sitting in a corner, concentrated in his meditation.  
  
"I think it's like 18:30"  
  
  
  
"Perfect!" -Duo chirped- "I'm gonna order a giant double cheese pizza with extra pepperoni. What do you want, guys?"  
  
  
  
"Just a cup of tea" -Quatre smiled, trying to be positive.  
  
  
  
"Hnn" -was the simultaneous answer from 01 and 03.  
  
  
  
"I bet I know what that means!" -Duo smiled, bouncing to stand up- "Heero wants a huge order of French fries, and Trowy wants a big salad with lots of dressing and black olives.."  
  
The three pilots sighed in resignation.  
  
  
  
"I don't like black olives" -Trowa suddenly said, lifting his glance towards 02.  
  
  
  
"Me neither" -Duo smiled, pleased with 03's support- "So..Yo, Wuff, Wuff, what you wanna eat?"  
  
  
  
The Chinese's response was silence.  
  
  
  
"Wu? Hello? Someone home? You want sushi?" -Duo quipped, standing in front of 05, who finally opened his eyes, not at all please to be interrupted. And it was Maxwell on the top of it.  
  
  
  
"Do you mind staying away from me? Go pester someone else, Maxwell. Get serious. There's no food or restaurants around. It's a useless waste of energy to create false hopes..."  
  
  
  
"Oh, but hope is the last thing we can lose, my grumpy friend" -the grinning teen retorted- "It wouldn't hurt you to smile once in a while, ya know. See Heero and Trowa? Well, they don't actually smile 'coz it's more like a smirk, but anyhow, life is sure better if we play sunshine.."  
  
  
  
"This is not a 'sunshine' situation, Maxwell. I don't see the point in fooling around like you do. If we were to face a much worse situation, are you going to stick to that smile...." -the Chinese pilot started to say.  
  
  
  
"Of course, always, at any situation" -Duo smiled defiantly.  
  
Wufei stared at him in silence.  
  
  
  
"Any situation? I don't think so" -was the next reply.  
  
  
  
"Better start believing it. I've been through a lot with the smile" -the boy in clerical clothes shrugged, as his enthusiasm started to fade away, some memories reawakening.  
  
  
  
"Then it's only a sign of weakness from you" -the boy with the black ponytail said, folding his arms.  
  
  
  
"Weakness?!" -Duo repeated, totally confused.  
  
  
  
"Yes. You use your smile to neglect the reality. That's a weakness, because you are not strong enough to face the situations in front of you.."  
  
  
  
"I don't neglect anything!" -Duo retorted, folding his arms too.  
  
  
  
" I suppose you started to use the smile when you couldn't take what life threw to you, so you smiled and ran away. And running away from hard situations is also a weakness..." -the stoic 05 pilot said aloud as he did his sort of analysis.  
  
Though his resolution of not taking seriously this argument with Wufei, Duo found it hard not to grit his teeth at the comment. Was the Chinese boy insinuating he was a coward? His smile was not a weakness, and it wasn't true he wear it before running away. He had smiled for the dying children in order to give them strength! How dare Chang Wufei to say that?  
  
  
  
"You know, Wufei, I've realized you're one of those 'square' people. You see things either black or white, with drastic judgments. Therefore, if you are so fair, you shouldn't talk without being sure of what you are saying" -the American answered calmly as he returned to his seat, not bouncing anymore.  
  
Onyx eyes were not pleased with the reprimand, and he was about to reply, but he was cut in short.  
  
  
  
"Enough you two"- Heero raised his voice.  
  
  
  
"This is not the moment to be arguing among us" -Quatre added.  
  
  
  
Duo crossed his arms over his head and leaned against the wall, eyes closed and a smile. Wufei frowned and directed a stony glance towards 01 and 04.  
  
He was taken aback when he noticed Heero was still looking at him with a serious gaze.  
  
"Don't touch that argument again. You were in the wrong position and didn't have the right to judge his acts" -01 silently shaped the words with his mouth in order to communicate with the Shenlong pilot.  
  
  
  
"Why?" -was the doubtful, silent reply.  
  
  
  
"You are positively conscious he doesn't like talking about his past, so neither will I explain" -was the harsh response from Heero.  
  
The Asian teen though about that for a moment as he resettled himself in his former position. Frankly, he didn't understand what 01 had meant with that.  
  
Onyx eyes crossed glances with green ones, as Trowa directed him a curious stare, which practically meant the European didn't understand either.  
  
Both 03 and 05 were only half-informed about Duo's story, since Heero and Quatre explained them just little details about the information they gathered from the Sweepers Ship. They knew about the street urchin life 02 had led and the massacre he had survived, but that was it. The explanations were minimal, therefore, when it came to understand Duo's behavior, they were clueless.  
  
A moment later, shouts and orders could be heard in the distance, as many rebel prisoners were being led out of the cells, towards the ships in order to transfer them.  
  
"This is favorable for our mission, since we were not suppose to sacrifice the rebels' lives" -Quatre murmured with clear relief in his voice.  
  
"We will proceed when the prisoners are out of range" -Heero added in low voice.  
  
  
  
They all nodded. Hidden among their clothes, 01 and 04 carried small detonators, in order to blow up the Oz facility and escape at 1st opportunity.  
  
Some minutes later, a group or soldiers entered the place.  
  
  
  
"On your feet, prisoners! Do not try anything! Cuff them!" -the orders were shouted with every .22 pistol the Ozies were carrying as a threat- "Start moving, get out!"  
  
As they were being led towards the interrogation room, they were communicating without voice, only reading their lips.  
  
  
  
"They won't shatter our determination and resolution. Our duty of secrecy is in full force" -Trowa reminded.  
  
  
  
"Quatre and I will determinate the moment to activate the detonators" -Heero shaped the words.  
  
  
  
"We will endure this until the last rebels are evacuated from the facility, and then..." -Quatre said.  
  
  
  
"Boom!" -the violet eyed-teen added in silence.  
  
  
  
There were 5 chairs partially distanced in the almost dark room. Four of them were settled in the middle, and the fifth was right in the front.  
  
01, 03, 04 and 05 were sat in the posterior chairs, a soldier aiming a gun in each one's temple. 02 was forced to sit in the first chair at the front. The sub commander's voice ran through the wallphones:  
  
  
  
"Pilots, this is my last warning. I've tried to be kind and human to you, but if you still don't cooperate, I will be forced to use...different methods"  
  
The five boys remained silent.  
  
"Cadet, shoot 05" -the leader ordered. The cadet released the safety of the gun and pushed it against Wufei's head.  
  
But neither 05 nor the others reacted.  
  
"You have 5 seconds to reconsider, or the pilot dies" -the commander threatened, but the clock ticked away the time and none of them moved. A stream of insults and curses were heard through the phones.  
  
  
  
"Idiots! If you weren't so valuable prisoners I would.....Well, since you're not talking by the good old habits, I'll required some support from a comrade, who has offered a new 'psychological' method, if I can put it that way..Maybe our 02 pilot here wants to be the first one to try it. I have an special guest for him...."  
  
The silhouette of a man entered the room and slowly walked towards them, until the light of the lamp fell upon him. A slightly and almost wicked smiled was drawing in his face marked with a long scar.  
  
The other pilots looked at him without recognizing him or understand what was really happening, until they were startled by Duo's agitated voice.  
  
  
  
"You! You, damned bastard!" -was the immediate exclamation from 02, who practically jumped from the chair towards the incomer, but the two soldiers beside him punched him and relocated the prisoner in the seat.  
  
  
  
"Well, well, what a way to greet a friend of yours" -the ex-general laughed ironically- "I can see you haven't quite forgotten me yet. I feel so special, little demon" -he continued as he advanced towards Duo.  
  
  
  
The four pilots observed the scene with confusion. It was clear that the man was someone from Duo's past, but who? The normally grinning American's expression was totally unknown for them. He was furious. No, it was something worse. He was far much from furious, he was livid.  
  
  
  
"You haven't changed much from the little petulant brat of before" -the general said, staring at him- "And your glance reminds me the last time we saw. Do you still hate me? Of course you do. But it has passed a long time...7 or 8 years, right? Didn't time help you to forget it? Or maybe, you hate me even more..."  
  
  
  
Duo was silent, his eyes fixed on him. If glances could kill, that man would have been fried in the spot. Some meters behind, the other pilots crossed glances. This was a situation they hadn't foreseen, and they were in a delicate position now. The voices and noises outside told them the rebels were still being transferred to the ships.  
  
  
  
"I haven't forgotten you either. After all, you left me this little present" -he said as his fingers traced the scar crossing his right eye- "Though I thought you were dead. You can't imagine my surprise when I was called by New Oz and I bumped with the 02 pilot's files. Everything was so obvious. Your appearance, the black clothes, and of course, the priest collar. Only one person could match with that description. The one and only survivor of Maxwell's Massacre is now a Gundam Pilot. My congratulations, brat. You used to be just another street rat, and now you're a soldier...."  
  
  
  
Heero looked at the general and then at Duo. So that was it. That man seemed to have complete knowledge of 02's past, on the streets and at the church. But how? The American had no files anywhere. The other three pilots were wondering the exact same thing....  
  
The sub commander interrupted the moment:  
  
  
  
"General Dardou, you must not forget that this isn't a personal quest of vengeance, this is a mission and your objective is the data we need..."  
  
The general shrugged at the reminder.  
  
  
  
"As you can see, the commander is interrupting my entertainment. This reencounter proves to be very interesting for me, though you don't seem to be enjoying it. So, here's the deal: spit the systems' codes, and I am going to leave your messed up mind alone...."  
  
  
  
The pilots in the back traded glances of mutual understanding. So, the trick was to alter Duo's emotional state with his past's traumas in order to make him easy target of torture and get the information from him...  
  
Much to their surprise, Duo took a deep intake of air and closed his eyes, at the time his expression turned calm, ignoring the general's deal.  
  
  
  
"What are you going to do now? Try to ignore me? To let it pass like if it is nothing?" -the man smiled as he looked at him- "Oh no, it's not going to be that easy. I can play with your mind anyway I want. I can twist, control, kill, or bring back to life so many details. After all, I was there...I took them prisoners...I ordered the attack.....I set the place in fire...."  
  
  
  
Not a single movement. Duo didn't fidget at all, like if he couldn't hear the general's words.  
  
  
  
"So, tell me, do your comrades know what are we talking about? Yes? No? Much? Little?" -Dardou added as he trained his stare at 01, 03, 04 and 05 -"Maybe a little bit of re-telling will help, hmm? I was General of the Command Troops at L2 colony many years ago....and part of my job was to 'impress' the rebels, to make them clear what was OZ ready to do in order to take control over the colony. It was an interesting job, to scare them to the gut. I practiced some tortures, some executions, then I came with an idea. I needed a special place, a well-known place with neutral civilians, innocent people....Maxwell Church was perfect. There was a priest, a nun and a bunch of useless orphans. My perfect hostages...."  
  
The boy clad in black was as indifferent as if hearing rain fall. However, inside of his mind, among the darkness he was wrapping himself into, like a protective cloak, flickered an image....  
  
*Dozens of soldiers burst into the chapel at middle morning. Father Maxwell left the crucifix he had been lifting upon the altar, as he and Sister Helen ran to collect the children. Guns pointed everywhere, shouting orders, pushing everyone to the back of the church. The little ones started to cry at the offending noises, a shot sounded through the fuss. The image of Holy Mary, Mother of the Orphans, shattered to pieces.....*  
  
The image faded as Duo concentrated to put his mind in blank.  
  
The man paced across the room as he narrated the past. He stopped in front of Duo once again, a sneer of contempt in his features.  
  
  
  
"But something went out of my control. One of those brats was not as useless as I imagined. He was very stupid, but he had something resembling courage. Courage and stupidity was a dangerous combination. I was pretty sure of it, when he somehow stepped in front of my men, pushing them back, protesting for some absurd reason....What was it that you were saying? Oh, yeah, something like how did we dare to scare the kids like that......"  
  
  
  
Duo didn't even turned his face up. The darkness was ripped by another image.  
  
*The soldiers were hitting the ones who wouldn't move. One of them pushed a little girl and made her fall to the ground. The girl started to cry out. The soldier was about to lift her by the hair, when a little boy pushed him back, protecting the girl. The almost violet eyes of the kid shinned with anger at the man. He scooped the girl in his arms and he gave her to other boy, urging them to back off. The kid with the long braid returned to his position, between the soldiers and the children, yelling at them, yelling for them to leave the kids alone....*  
  
Dardou continued with the story, the glances of the pilots fixed upon him.  
  
  
  
"According to this orphan, it was his 'duty' to take care of the other street rats in the place. Of course, a gun trained in the nun's face made him shut his mouth. All the hostages were locked inside that chapel, with all those silent images observing. Kind of unnerving for them, I guess. The priest tried to talk to me, begging for the little ones to be freed" -a maniacal grin crossed the general's face- "Fool. I wanted the children of hostages. They were so naïve, so unaware of how unsteady life can get, hanging from a tiny thread....."  
  
  
  
Trowa averted his green eyes from the man, to steal a glance towards Duo. He inwardly frowned in concentration as he studied the elfin features of the boy from L2. He seemed almost as if sleeping. His breathing was normal, his eyes closed without effort.  
  
If people were able to see through our minds surface, what would they see? Our secrets, our thoughts, our emotions would be revealed. However, the pilots weren't able to do this. So they weren't able to see the memories displaying right in front of the closed amethyst eyes.  
  
  
  
*Father Maxwell stood in front of the little long-haired boy, coaxing him to back off. Sister Helen was released from the soldier's grip as the kid did so. Immediately, the nun wrapped the boy in her arms and dragged him backwards, with the other children. The priest traced the cross sign in his chest as he took several steps forward, facing the guns, addressing the general in command.  
  
'They are just children, sir. May you please let them go? Just children, sir. We can stay as hostages if you want, but let the children go. Show a bit of compassion....'  
  
The little leader, the 'boss' as the other children called him, heard all the conversation. He heard the denial of the general. He heard the cruel satisfaction of the man as he declared them as Oz's victims. The victims of a calculated massacre they were about to perform. He heard the bark of laughter from the soldiers as the priest continued begging, continued asking them in God's name. But the general punched the priest, saying he didn't know any God. He punched Father Maxwell again, sending him to the ground. The nun disentangled her arms from around the boy and ran towards the priest, to avoid more abusing. She was received with a sharp slap right on her face. The boy opened his eyes wide in surprise and anger. He also ran towards them, his agility allowing him to pass through the soldiers, his street-training allowing him to squarely punch two in their stomach, who dropped their guns. In a second, he was beside the nun and the priest, helping Father to stand. The general looked at him with a mixture of admiration and fury.....*  
  
  
  
Wufei joined 03 in his contemplation. Maxwell seemed to quiet, so calm, so unreal. Like a marble statue. Was Maxwell really listening? Or was he blocking himself out of the room? The Chinese pilot almost furrowed his delicate black eyebrows as he remembered what Maxwell had said back in the cell. He had been through a lot with the smile...Wufei wondered if the American was referring to this....  
  
  
  
"All of those brats were so unaware of what suffering was....but not that one, the brat with the braid. He was left in charge, to say it so, when we cuffed and muzzled the priest and the nun. He gathered all the children around him, the kids calling him 'boss'. The soldiers were muttering among them, saying they knew about him. They knew he was also called the 'demon', back on the streets. Now I was surprised, I had bumped with a demon in a church? Anyway, this only proved to make things easier. If I controlled the leader, the others would stop crying out and screaming. So I ordered to take him out and to tie him up. Maybe a beat would help. But oh no, those stupid soldiers under my charge were too damn slow or the brat was too damn fast. He got himself free of the ropes, kicking the gun out of the man's hands, and he sprinted on his feet like devil himself. He had almost passed through us, when I knocked him down. He turned to see me, his eyes lit with anger. I tried to hold him, but with the skill of a thief, he snatched my knife from my belt and before running again, he slid it over my face....."  
  
  
  
As he spoke, Dardou had been walking in circles around 02's chair. The soldiers beside the chair were also deep concentrated in the words, but the guns were still trained in Duo's silent figure.  
  
  
  
"My trophy was this precious scar. But I would make sure to return the gesture. I sent men to track him down, as the others tied the rest of the children up. Then, all of a sudden, the roar of one suit sounded in the air. The little bastard had stolen a suit, I supposed, but instead of running away as logic would have said, the suit made its way towards us. Seconds later, more suits appeared in view. Rebel suits. I was perplexed. How in the Hell had the rebels found us? The brat, I guessed, the brat was a rebel himself. And there's this stupid rule among rebels to never abandon each other, right? My men occupied their suits and the battle started. I wasn't worried, to say the truth. We were stronger, we had more suits, we were better soldiers....but for some sort of damn lucky fluke, my men were being defeated. It was impossible! A complete Oz's keep was being defeated by a group of rebels led by a kid?! Nonsense! I wasn't about to let them win, so I took off in my MS, and trained the lasers upon the church...."  
  
  
  
The other pilots could tell the end of the story by now. Quatre flinched as a sudden flash of pain struck his chest for an instant, but it disappeared almost as fast. The Neo-arabic was sure his empathy between himself and the others was the responsible of the sensation, and he was sure that sensation had come from Duo. But 04 didn't know how Duo had been able to block it out so fast..  
  
  
  
"Should I continue?" -the general asked with a visage of perverse smile, but Duo didn't even open his eyes. That single gesture fed the general's anger even more- "Answer me!" -he shouted, punching him with all his force, sending 02 out of the chair, on the ground. The pilot attempted to get up, but the man kicked him in the side, making him stumble again. Another kick hit the teen's chest, and then another hit his side.  
  
Duo kneeled slowly, spitting blood, but totally silent. The soldiers took hold of him and made him sit again.  
  
  
  
"You damned demon!" -the general stuttered between clenched teeth, his patience slipping away- "I lost the entire keep in that fight! And all because of a mere brat! I was relieved of my charge for that mistake. My military career was ruined by a street rat! I wouldn't let that go away. What did you want, ah?! The children? The church? Why were you fighting? To protect them? Fine! I would make sure to take all that away from you, for you to remember that day. And you wanted to save them?" -the man smiled an ugly grin of savage rage- "You doomed them! You killed them!" -he shouted, withdrawing his gun and placing it on Duo's forehead, forcing him to look up and to barely open his eyes.  
  
"How many children were there, uh? Like..say what, 18? Oh, and the nun and the priest, with them were like 20 people. 20 lives....and it just took me a couple of seconds to set the place in fire, as the explosions made by the lasers consumed the church. I was about to leave the place, when I saw you, standing in the threshold. Little poor brat didn't make it on time, right? The demon didn't save them. Not one of them. They were all burned to ashes. You remember it, don't you?...."  
  
  
  
The Gundam Pilots watched the general, almost horrified by such cruelty. And Duo? A silent admiration and surprise started to rise in their minds as they stared at the fortitude and determination of 02, who remained calm as those eerie scenes were reawakened in his mind. Outside in the hangars, the last rebels were being taken into the ships, ready to leave.  
  
  
  
"Now I wonder, how have you been able to live all this time, Maxwell's demon? How can you wake up to every single day with that memory? How can you sleep at night?" -Dardou went on- "I bet you can't. I bet you remember them every minute of your damn existence. I bet you can't stand silence, because the screams of 'your' children come back to you, screaming in agony as they burn alive. And when you close your eyes at night, the heat of the flames reach towards you again...."  
  
  
  
Quatre closed his eyes and bowed his head. It was unbearable. Listen to that was horrible. Trowa's usual flat expression was disturbed by a trace of suppressed anger. Wufei's breath was unsteady, heavy, onyx eyes shining. Heero's death glare was trained upon the general, but he also stared at Duo's hands, cuffed at his back. They were clenched in fists, but beside that, Duo didn't show any emotion. How could he endure such emotional mistreat?  
  
The powerful sound of the cargo ships flying away from the base and into space filled the room. Suddenly, the scene turned to life and movement, like if a button had been pressed.  
  
Heero and Wufei jumped from their chairs, knocking out the soldiers with the shackles. Trowa and Quatre whirled in the air, lifting the chairs, sending them to crash against the guards at the gates. The detonators appeared in 01 and 04´s hands, and the explosives set on the base started to explode, causing total confusion.  
  
Dardou could only blink at the sudden noises, when he felt a metallic blow crashing against his face. He fell to the floor, dropping the gun in the process, and Duo kicked it away. The general came to his feet in a moment, just to receive another punch on his face, another one on his stomach, which made him double down in pain. Stumbling, he backed off at the incredible strength of the 02 pilot.  
  
The other four pilots turned to see them, at the same time the cruel Ozie lifted his face, and he was faced to the 'little demon'. The American's expression was serious, but there was something terrible in his eyes, something mortally dangerous.  
  
With a movement of his wrists, Duo freed himself from the cuffs, which fell to the floor. A steel hand clasped Dardou's throat, hitting him against the wall. The general tried to punch him, but Duo landed another blow in the man's chest, making the Ozie gasp.  
  
  
  
"So you said you didn't know God" -a lethal serious voice came from Duo's lips, as his hand gripped more strongly the general's neck. The amethyst eyes flickered with anger, as Duo's face moved an inch closer to the man- "Well, meet the God of Death"  
  
Duo's voice was filled with all the coldness and cruelty he could muster. His other hand lifted, a gun in his grasp. The gun was place between Dardou's eyes. The man paled in fear.  
  
"No, Duo! Don't! This won't change anything and you know it!" -Quatre's voice cut the moment.  
  
The others were also comtemplating Duo and his prey. They knew it was too much to ask, to ask for taht man's forgiveness was too much for Duo. He had all the right to shoot and take that beast's life.  
  
Duo turned to see the blonde teen, and 04 almost trembled at the glance of the American pilot. His eyes were as hard as stone. The boy with the white collar turned to see the general again, the gun still in place.  
  
  
  
"I'll see you in Hell" -Duo said, releasing the gun's safety, and ignoring Quatre's words, he pulled the trigger. Duo pulled the trigger.  
  
  
  
To Be Continued......  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N: (eyes wide open) Is this what people call 'cliffhanger' ? If it is, or if it isn't, I would like a review anyway. Please? R&R! When I get like 10 reviews I'll post the other chapter, k? Please leave a comment. 


	2. the crack

Author's Notes: Thanks a lot for the reviews. You're the reason for everyone here in this net to go on and write. Well, here's second chapter. I don't know yet if the fic it's gonna end here, or if I'll do a third chapter. I'll decide in the process. Sap, angst, lots of 01 and 02 friendship, as in my opinion, they're each other's person to trust and count on. And yes, from my point of view, Duo is really strong to be holding back his pain during all those years, but I also consider it's time for him to let go of it. Duo will finally break.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Facing a Past's Shadow"  
  
  
  
Chapter Two  
  
  
  
Sudden shots and loud noises thundered all over the area, as the Preventors ships arrived with backup forces. The ozies were still confused by the former explosions, and therefore, they were caught unprepared.  
  
Inside the interrogation room, the four pilots were still staring directly at Duo, who finally released Dardou, letting the immobile body to fall to the ground.  
  
*click*  
  
The muffled sound of the empty gun was barely audible. A second later Dardou fainted, almost sure he was going to be assassinated in the spot. But the gun was EMPTY. Duo let his face drop, his bangs hiding his features. He lifted the gun in his right hand and the cartridge in the left one. He had removed it without anyone noticing it.  
  
The four teens stayed quiet, silently observing Duo's unspoken declaration against vengeance. Some seconds later, Duo dropped both things, and with his face still hidden by his hair, he crossed the dark room, heading towards the hangars where their Gundams were being held.  
  
Heero and the others waited an instant before they also walked in that direction. As they reached the hangar, troops of Preventors burst in every room, capturing each one of the ozies in that facility, including the Sub commander and general Dardou. Endless time in prison was their sure destiny...  
  
  
  
-----o-----  
  
  
  
Five suits-carriers, with five huge Gundams, were making their way among the darkness of space, until they reached Earth's atmosphere, heading towards the seaport were one of Howard's ships was waiting for them.  
  
No one made a connection with the carrier transporting DeathScythe, which was the first one to reach the port.  
  
Inside his carrier, Quatre clutched at his chest, a wave of pain constricting his heart. But once again, the flash of pain disappeared within a minute.  
  
When the pilots landed and came out of their ships, the 02 pilot had already came out and was walking towards the automatic gates, without saying a word to anyone. He crossed the door and made his way into the halls.  
  
  
  
"I think he wants to be left alone" -Trowa murmured.  
  
  
  
"We can't leave him alone" -Quatre interrupted him, worry painted in his features- "He is in pain. I can feel it" -he added, his hand over his heart.  
  
"We can't wait, or he'll close into himself. We have to look for him" -Heero said in his decided tone, and they all nodded.  
  
  
  
After several minutes of searching, the pilots found their friend in one of his favorite spots. He was sitting in front of a large window in one of the vacated rooms in that sea ship.  
  
He was still clad in his black suit, now all battered by the beatings of the last days. He was sitting against a wall, his arms folded over his chest, his face bowed, the locks of hair shadowing his closed eyes. By his stillness and the breathing rhythm, anyone would have thought he was asleep. But the pilots knew he was not.  
  
Heero was the first one to cross the room, until he was standing in front of him, the other 3 youngsters followed.  
  
"Duo" -the Japanese boy called, but he got no response- "Duo" -he called again. Heero showed no trace of emotion, as usual, though something was squirming inside of him, telling him something was really wrong with Duo.  
  
  
  
"Duo. We want to speak with you" -Quatre's soft voice replaced 01's, at the time his pale hand reached towards Duo.  
  
  
  
The American boy seemed to wake up in that moment. He lifted his hands at his face's level, brushing away his own hair, though he didn't open his eyes.  
  
  
  
"Hmm?" -was the response 04 got from him.  
  
  
  
"Duo, we...well, we just want to talk for a while.....we want to know how are you feeling....."  
  
  
  
"Oh, I'm tired" -the 02 pilot replied without looking at them- "I think I'll better go and sleep for a while" -he murmured.  
  
  
  
"We won't leave and you won't leave either. Not yet" - Heero cut off Duo's attempt to run away from them.  
  
Trowa and Wufei nodded in agreement.  
  
  
  
"We are worried..." -Quatre started to say.  
  
  
  
To everyone's surprise, Duo's normal, content voice interrupted him.  
  
  
  
"Thanks guys, but I'm fine. Really. Just wanna think for a moment, ya know? I wanna be alone for a while...." -he said, lifting his face, a smile in his lips, but a slight saddened pair of violet eyes.  
  
  
  
Quatre breathed deeply, taking one step closer, placing a hand over 02's shoulder.  
  
  
  
"No, Duo. We can't leave you alone" -the blond soldier said, closing his eyes, the physical connection allowing him to establish the emotional connection with the braided boy.  
  
  
  
"Especially not now, Duo" -Trowa said in his usual quiet manner.  
  
"I already told you, guys, I'm fine, k?" -Duo repeated, trying with all his will to use his normal voice, but the lie was ripping him apart.  
  
  
  
"No, Duo, it's not true" -Quatre's soft voice trembled with suppressed feelings- "I can feel...such a deep grief, such an enormous agony..." -Quatre's expression was twitched in pain, as he struggled for not stumbling down, his other hand looking for support on the wall. The wave of emotions was so intense.  
  
The others stepped ahead, taking hold of the Neo-arabic. Now they were worried about both 02 and 04.  
  
Duo sighed and he bowed his face one more time. On his side, Quatre caught his breath again and lifted his head, his Prussian blue eyes a bit perplexed. The connection had been cut off. It was like a shield that separated himself from the American boy.  
  
  
  
"I'm sorry, Cat. I won't do that again. I just didn't realize you were so close to feel...." -Duo mumbled in apology.  
  
  
  
"No, Duo you're just making it worse. If you trap all those emotions inside, instead of letting them out, they'll slowly kill you..." -the Sandrock pilot said with exasperation.  
  
  
  
"Now that's a bit silly, ne? You can't kill Death" -Duo tried a bright smile, but it lacked sincerity- "Unless, of course, if Death is already dead, ya know? After all, I've been dead since many years ago...."  
  
  
  
The four pilots remained silent at 02's words. There was pain hidden in them. Heero tried his best to remain calm and strong, as he lowered himself to Duo's face level. He pressed his lips as he saw how his friend turned his gaze away from him.  
  
  
  
"Why don't you look at me, Duo?" -he asked in a gentler voice, still a bit uncomfortable with the others' listening to him- "Why are you isolating from us? You don't want to be left alone, Duo, I know that....Look at me, I want to see you, Duo....."  
  
  
  
Duo shook his head, still his face turned away from them.  
  
  
  
"No, not yet....my mask is weak..."  
  
  
  
The comment made in low voice was painfully real, and Duo and the others knew it well. The cheerful alter ego was just one of the two faces Duo had. But this Duo was not strong enough in those moments to hold the façade perfectly, and he wasn't ready to let the others see it.....  
  
Suddenly, Duo got up from his seat, as he briskly walked among them, heading to the door. Quatre was immediately following him.  
  
  
  
"Duo, wait! Where are...."  
  
  
  
"Fresh air. I need some fresh air" -the slender figure replied without looking back, but he stopped when Wufei stood in front of him, blocking the door.  
  
  
  
"Wait a minute, Maxwell" -he said- "I cannot allow you to leave this room yet. I know this may not be the proper moment, but we all need to talk" -the black eyes showed a determinate glance- "I....think I hadn't been the comrade you have been for us. I have also made wrong comments about your behavior. You said it wasn't fair for me to talk without knowledge, well...it's true. It wasn't fair. If you give us the opportunity to understand you, we'll try our best to help you......"  
  
  
  
"I don't want anything now. I just want to...be alone, that's all. Let me pass, Wufei" -Duo replied curtly as he continued his way, but a hand holding him back from his wrist halted him.  
  
Without releasing his grasp, Heero stood in front of him.  
  
  
  
"Don't run away" -was the harsh command.  
  
  
  
"I'm not doing that" -a distant voice came from Duo's lips.  
  
  
  
"Then stay here, with us" -Quatre pleaded. Trowa nodded.  
  
  
  
"We are offering you support..." -Wufei added.  
  
  
  
"I've lived many years with this. I can handle it by myself, thanks" -02's voice raised a bit.  
  
  
  
"Don't face it alone" -the Japanese pilot said.  
  
  
  
"I've always been alone!" -Duo replied, his voice rosed as well as his face.  
  
Heero received the violet glance directly. For a couple of seconds, he could almost read in those eyes the despair of a life in complete loneliness. Yes, Heero knew about it. He could read that pain taking over his friend.  
  
"Not anymore, Duo" -Quatre said as he walked closer to 01 and 02- "We are with you now. We are your friends, we are your family, we are here for you, close to you...."  
  
  
  
"No, you can't....you mustn't. I don't want to harm those who are close to me again. I don't have the right" -the tenor voice turned into a whisper again, as Duo shook his head adamantly- "I failed them twice. I don't deserve anything..if Death could only die once and for all...."  
  
  
  
"Don't you say that!" -Heero snapped in anger at the double-meaning of the sentence.  
  
His voice was accompanied by the movement of his other hand, in the sequence of rising and then lowering rapidly towards Duo's face.  
  
The braided, now quiet boy didn't move, waiting for the blow. But after a minute when nothing happened, he fixed his eyes in the front to look at his partner.  
  
Heero's hand had stopped in middle air, his face had an unusual worried and somehow sad expression. Then, 01 lifted his right hand, which was holding Duo's wrist, and with his left one, took hold of 02's left hand.  
  
There was a tiny blood track slipping over Duo's palms, since he had cut himself with his nails while clenching his hands in fury against Dardou.  
  
  
  
"Look at your hands" -the blue-eyed pilot murmured without turning his glance away.  
  
A second later, a warm drop fell upon one of Heero's hand, startling him. The drop slid slowly on his skin and then fell to the floor.  
  
Though his face was hidden by the locks of chestnut hair, the shinning way the single tear had left on Duo's cheek was still visible. The tear that had fallen on Heero's hands.  
  
For an instant, the four boys in the room were mute, completely shocked.  
  
Releasing Duo's wrists, Heero gave one more step and encircled the boy with his arms, in a hesitant hug. Duo didn't move, letting the strong arms hold him. Quatre put a comforting hand on 02's shoulder, and Trowa and Wufei got closer, trying to transmit their warmth in a collective sign of friendship and understanding.  
  
Duo closed his eyes as he sighed deeply. No, he decided, he wouldn't let his grief out. He could feel the wound ripping his heart, but he had to be strong. He had promised. Even if keeping that promise was slowly killing him, he didn't want the others, or anyone, to see his pain. Even if the others were being so kind, he couldn't.  
  
The DeathScythe pilot lifted his hands, pushing himself off of Heero's embrace, undoing the circle the other four pilots had made around him. The others stared at him puzzled as Duo took a couple of steps back from them.  
  
  
  
"Duo?" -Quatre called again.  
  
  
  
"Thanks, guys, but you don't have to worry. I mean, of course it hurts, but I am fine" -a small smile hovered in his face, his expression calm, his glance steady.  
  
  
  
Heero fixed his blue eyes in the amethyst ones, and he was almost surprised to find out that Duo's eyes were not blurry or moist. The violet was clear, no trace of tears in them.  
  
  
  
"I hope you don't mind if I take a little break, right?" -the smile in 02's features stayed impassive- "I would appreciate if you let me some time off" -he said as he dusted himself, probably feeling uncomfortable under the scrutiny of the four glances of his friends.  
  
  
  
Quatre had the intention to say something, but he stopped in middle way, not exactly sure of what to say. Wufei frowned slightly as he side looked Trowa, whose green eyes held a hint of sadness.  
  
The silence of the room was perturbed only for the sound of Duo's steps as he headed towards the doors, which closed immediately after him.  
  
  
  
"But...what happened? I thought we were reaching him..." -Quatre said, turning his confused blue-green glance at the others.  
  
  
  
"It's like something is holding him back" -Trowa said in his calm manner.  
  
  
  
"Maxwell's honor is admirable" -Wufei added, his onyx orbs fixed in the distant- "Though his interior struggle must be hard. It's a heavy burden he has been bearing with since long ago"  
  
  
  
"But I know he hurts badly. It would be better if he allowed himself to let go of that pain" -Quatre mildly protested.  
  
Trowa put a hand on 04's shoulder, knowing the blonde was feeling frustrated for not helping more.  
  
  
  
"Maybe it was not the moment, Quatre, nor the place." -Trowa tried to reassure his friend- "Probably, Duo knows he is not doing the right thing, but it is hard for him to let go. If he has lived all these years hiding this, it may be almost impossible to reveal it so..openly, especially after that torture, and now with all of us here watching him." - the 03 pilot added thoughtfully.  
  
  
  
Quatre and Wufei nodded, agreeing with the European's comment. The Shenlong pilot turned his glance to watch Heero, who had been silent all the time.  
  
  
  
"Heero" -the Chinese boy called.  
  
01's wistful features turned to the one addressing him. Immediately, the other boys were also looking at him. They didn't say anything, but it wasn't necessary. The Wing pilot knew what they were asking.  
  
  
  
"I don't know how is he feeling for real" -came the answer a moment later- "And I don't know what to do. Maybe time and some distance" -he vaguely suggested.  
  
  
  
"Are you sure, Heero? After being lonely so much time, do you think that will help him?" -the Neo-arabic asked worriedly.  
  
  
  
"No" -Heero almost sighed at the reply- "It probably won't"  
  
  
  
"Heero" -Wufei's eyes were deadly serious as he spoke- "You're closer to him. You know him better than us. Can we entrust Duo to you?"  
  
The 04 and 03 pilot joined in the serious contemplation of the Wing pilot, waiting for a reply.  
  
  
  
"Hai" -came the soft voice.  
  
  
  
-----o-----  
  
  
  
Nights on sea are beautiful. The water seems like a deep mirror, which reflects hundreds of little shining stars hanging from above. The wind brings the scent of distant horizons mixed with soft tunes of unknown instruments, lulling the waves and the sand.  
  
Heero spent hours standing against the ship's railing. His thoughts were drifting and coming back, from here and there and here and there again. Lurking. Seeking. For a solution, a word, a feeling, anything. Anything he could offer to Duo.  
  
But what could he possibly offer to relieve Duo's pain? He had nothing. Nothing but....the friendship that had grown up between them, the knowledge of Duo's past, the memories of Duo's dreams, the confessions from Duo's own lips, the time they had learn to share, the sometimes silly discussions they had, the trust, the promises, the....  
  
The Japanese pilot straightened his back, staring at the sea once again. He had more than he had first imagined. Yes, that's why Duo had been entrusted to him. Because Heero himself had first been entrusted to Duo. Now the problem was to learn how to canalize all that fragments of friendship to help Duo in these precise moments.  
  
  
  
The pilot breathed deeply as he turned away from his position, accessing into the ship, heading towards the rooms. That was the place he knew he would find Duo.  
  
Despite everything, he felt his stomach complain with knots, feeling he was heading towards a battle in a handicapped manner. He stood in front of the room's doors, listening to every sound around him.  
  
Silence.  
  
It was a bit late by now, but he knew Duo wasn't sleeping. In fact, he knew Duo wouldn't sleep during all night, secretly trying to avoid his nightmares.  
  
He knocked. Once. Twice. Silence, no answer.  
  
'I promised you, Duo, remember? I once promised you that if I saw you edging into your inner pain, I would have to reach you. I tried to do that today, but you rejected me. Why did you do that, Duo?'  
  
Heero entered the code in the electronic door as his mind continued to prepare for the moment.  
  
  
  
'I don't know why, but I have to keep trying. I promised you. I won't let you down on this, Duo. I know you asked me to leave you alone, not to press you, but Duo, for your own good, I have to keep trying..'  
  
  
  
The Japanese teen slid silently into the room, noticing every detail in the surroundings. The lights were on, but the bed was empty. The blankets were crumpled, clear sign of someone sitting there, surely for a long time. The black tight pants and the black priestly jacket were spread on the floor.  
  
He gave some steps more, catching a glimpse of a silhouette through the open door of the bathroom.  
  
Heero stood quietly in the place, even restricting his breath. Duo hadn't noticed his presence. He was completely sure of this, because standing there was Duo, his back turned to him, his long hair falling around him.  
  
During those years of knowing among them, the pilots had learned one of the things Duo didn't like was for the people to see him with his hair down. Just in a couple of times, when his braid had gotten loose among a battle, had they got a rapid sight of it.  
  
Not even Heero, his friend and roommate, was allowed to. Whenever Duo came out of the shower, he had a towel wrapped around the mass of chestnut cascade.  
  
So now, the older pilot remained silent, contemplating the rare scene. The American teen's hair was unbelievable long and beautiful, the crossing patterns of the restricting braid slightly marked among the strands. The honey colored locks seemed to sway with some faint breeze.  
  
Heero's stare wandered on the waterfall of spilling color a moment more, until his attention reached Duo's face. The amethyst eyes were forcefully closed, his lips pressed together. Still. The longhaired boy was totally still.  
  
Blue eyes lowered a bit, taking in the image of Duo's hands, clenching the sides of the sink so strongly, that his knuckles were becoming white. Red lines were sliding down his skin, sliding down the sink, sliding over jagged pieces of crystal filling the sink.  
  
The blue glance lifted abruptly, looking at the mirror....but there was no mirror, just a hole in the place where the crystal was supposed to reflect the face of the person standing in front of it. The numerous slithers of shattered glass where scattered with crimson droplets of blood, filling the sink.  
  
  
  
"God....oh God....not again....." -the murmurs where voiced so desperately, the tone filled with sorrow- "Not again...make it go away...I don't want to see it..."  
  
  
  
Unconsciously, Heero gave a step back. Not the moment, he mused, not the moment. Duo was struggling to keep his mask in place, and Heero had no idea what to do in that situation.  
  
"Please no....no.....I've had enough...no!"  
  
Another step back. This was Duo's greatest secret, his other face. This was something Heero knew the American boy had been hiding from everyone, something he wasn't supposed to see, not without Duo's permission. And Duo had always insisted that he wasn't ready, not even to show it to Heero.  
  
01 turned away, feeling he was witnessing something prohibited, as he got a glimpse of the suffering painted in 02's expression.  
  
'I always wondered how much time would Duo be able to hold the façade...and now, it's happening. Is the mask really breaking?'  
  
The quiet steps continued as Heero walked away, when suddenly, a muffled sound answered his musings....  
  
The muffled sound of a sob.  
  
Heero stood frozen in place. What? No, it couldn't be. It was not possible, Duo never.....  
  
The soft sound was repeated, cutting his track of thoughts.  
  
A dull ache started to pound in Heero's heart, as the sobs continued.  
  
  
  
///////////// When tears overcome you.... I don't know what to do.... My heart aches whenever you feel sad...////////////// (1)  
  
  
  
For an instant, the Japanese pilot felt the urge to run out of the room, to escape that, to forget what he had heard....for just an instant, before he snapped back, to the fact that his best friend needed him. And he wasn't letting him down.  
  
He made his way back and entered the bathroom, where Duo continued murmuring, now his face hid between his hands.  
  
Strong hands took hold of his shoulders, as Heero turned Duo around to face him. The 02 pilot started, confused at the touch. Among slender fingers, his violet eyes widened at the touch, and widened even more when he saw Heero.  
  
This time, the long eyelashes were moist, the amethyst depths clouded by tears, softly rolling down the American's face.  
  
  
  
"Get out" -the unsteady voice complained as Duo tried to jerk out of Heero's hold.  
  
"Hush, Duo, it's o.k." -the Japanese boy whispered, his arms not releasing him, but encircling him more firmly.  
  
  
  
"No.....please.....go...."  
  
  
  
Duo protested slightly, still trying to free himself, but the grasp was strong, and in that moment, he was weak, in every way. Heero hugged him fiercely, somehow scared by how Duo was trembling, trembling uncontrollably.  
  
  
  
"It's time, boy.... It's time to let it go. You've fought too much time against it. You deserve to heal your heart...." -Heero murmured in soft voice as he pressed Duo against his chest, unconsciously trying to suffocate the pain that was engulfing his friend.  
  
  
  
"I don't want to...." -came the shaky reply, cut by sobs- "I....I am afraid....God no, please no....I'm afraid....."  
  
  
  
"Shhhh, Duo. It's o.k if you're afraid. I'm here with you. I'm not going anywhere. I am here for you"  
  
And Heero closed his eyes, as a smile traced his lips.  
  
  
  
//////////////// I can't help you, even if I'm next to you.... but whenever you're sad, come to me..... and I'll give you a smile, just like you taught me to..././//////(1)  
  
  
  
And the walls shattered.  
  
Shaky hands took hold of Heero's shoulders as Duo returned the hug, the sobs breaking into tears. The delicate features painted with grief buried in Heero's chest, as if hiding of something. Against the shirt of the 01 pilot, the youngster continued murmuring between sobs.  
  
  
  
"Twice..I failed them twice...I....I.....how could I......" -and the voice was cut for some seconds- "I let the.... kids died....plague.....and Solo....and then.....Sis...Sister.and the church.....oh God....."  
  
  
  
Heero could only hold him, as he rubbed his back, letting the L2 colony pilot to weep over his painful memories. The strands of chestnut hair intertwined between his fingers as he drew his hands up and down on Duo's back.  
  
"And...I'm... afraid..if I ....." -the whisper was interrupted by a sharp intake of air- "if I .....let it o-out....I....am falling..and it's so dark and deep......and there are only......only......"  
  
  
  
In fact, Heero felt like even if he was holding him, Duo was falling inside a deep dark hole, far away from everything. The sudden squirm alerted him, as the trembles returned to Duo's body.  
  
  
  
"Only screams....no!" -and Duo released his arms from around Heero, covering his ears- "They are screaming....please make them stop....no more....."  
  
  
  
In his own inferno, Duo could see the glitter of the flames, accompanied by the screams of his kids....his kids, the ones now dead. His fear, his most enormous fear, was this. Once he had let his pain out in tears, would he be able to recover, to stand again, or would he be trapped among darkness and grief?  
  
Heero felt him fall. He felt how his legs buckled beneath him, as Duo fell to his knees, shaking his head, his hair billowing around him.  
  
A rare moisture stung in Heero's own eyes, as if he could also feel the heartbreaking distress. He bent beside his weeping friend, whispering in his ear.  
  
  
  
"No, Duo, they're not screaming anymore. They're not suffering anymore. It's over, Duo. It's over. They're in peace now.. You're pain will never go, but you can learn to heal it. Only if you release the pain and if you release yourself."  
  
And as if he was a little boy, he held and lifted Duo from the floor, carrying him to his bed.  
  
"It's o.k, Duo. It's o.k if this time, you cry. I understand..." -said the soft voice, while Duo clasped his arms around Heero's neck, taking in the warmth his friend was offering, seeking for sympathy- "I understand, my brave friend. And I am sorry too...I'm sorry, Duo...."  
  
Heero sat on the bed, with the younger teen still in his arms, his pale face wet with tears. He looked like a sad angel, a very sad angel.  
  
  
  
///////////////Let me be the one you call... If you jump, I'll break your fall.... Lift you up and fly away with you into the night... If you need to fall apart..... I can mend a broken heart.... If you need to crash then crash and burn..... You're not alone......////////////////(2)  
  
  
  
"They....aren't screaming....they aren't..crying...no more...I can't hear it....." -the soft voice coming from Duo's lips was calmer, though faint brilliant pearls still rolled down his cheeks- "Just your voice...I just hear your voice...." -he murmured, his hold on Heero less strong, though the arms around his neck had not moved, nor had he stop pressing his face against the solid chest of the Japanese pilot.  
  
  
  
"I'm here... I won't leave you. You don't have to be afraid anymore" -said Heero as he leaned against the headboard of the bed, sighing deeply.  
  
The moonlight slipped through the little circle window, as late night fell upon the sea.  
  
The boy he was holding wasn't murmuring anymore, the pained eyes were closed. Blue eyes also closed, never releasing his grasp around the cherished person that was his friend. Maybe, he would be able to chase away the nightmares..Heero wasn't going anywhere.  
  
  
  
The clock ticked away the minutes, the hours, as sleep took into its realm both boys. Duo, exhausted by his breakdown; Heero, exhausted by emotions, by the struggle to be there for Duo.  
  
And when dawn lit up the first clouds above the ocean, a set of amethyst pools slowly opened.  
  
The warmth that had accompanied him was still there, wrapping him. The arms that had protected him were still there, wrapping him. The person who had almost lulled him was still there...Heero was still there.  
  
A sad smile bloomed in the rose colored lips, as a faint whisper escaped from Duo's mouth.  
  
  
  
"I've broken my promise......and there's a price to pay now....."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
To Be Continued.....  
  
  
  
*Shinigami's Voice*  
  
  
  
A/N: (silence) I love Duo. Don't you? And I like Heero a lot. Don't you? If I were to see this chapter on T.V. I assure you I would cry. Please try to imagine it, and tell me what you think. R&R, please. Lots of reviews make me happy.. -a song called 'The Tears Know' -a song by Savage Garden called 'Crash and Burn' Next chapter is the conclusion, please stay with me, k? Review, and I'll post soon. 


	3. a smile

Author's Notes: Thanks as usual to Li-chan and Chibi-sora, and thanks to everyone who reviewed. Thanks to the ones who said this was really sweet and sad and thanks to the ones who said so much wonderful things about my stories. And another thing: Several people asked me to add a bit of shounen ai, but I'm sorry, that's not my specialty. I like more to picture 01 and 02 as close friends. The fact that Duo slept in Heero's arms doesn't mean more than friends' fondness, k? And sorry for the delay, my studies are taking the most from me. Here's the conclusion now:  
  
  
  
"Facing a Past's Shadow"  
  
  
  
Final Chapter  
  
  
  
  
  
Blue eyes snapped open as Heero felt something.....the loss of something. He was still reclined on the bed headboard, though a blanket had been placed over him. He was alone in the room.  
  
He stood up and looked around. A white t-shirt and gray pajama pants were on the floor, which meant Duo had already changed clothes from last night.  
  
"He usually does this. When I'm not looking, he runs" -Heero murmured a bit disappointed.  
  
But why? His mind answered him immediately:  
  
'He might be feeling very confused, if not ashamed. I am not also sure what to do when I found him. What will he say? What will I say? I just hope he's feeling better...'  
  
He exited the room and started wandering in the ship's halls. Dawn was coming to life slowly. The sea ship was silent and desert. Surely everyone there was still sleeping.  
  
Heero headed towards the deck, as his glance was fixed on the sea beyond the railings. The water was calm, a deep swaying blue dancing with the breeze's rhythm. Nothing perturbed the tranquil atmosphere, until a soft voice reached Heero's ears.  
  
  
  
".....hope you can understand. I am remaining true to my word, so I've come to give it a farewell...."  
  
  
  
The Wing pilot continued with quiet steps. In front of the railings, in the furthest part of the prow, was standing a teen clad in a black suit. A familiar black suit with white priestly collar. There was a shining silver cross on his chest. His hair was prisoner of the confining braid, which moved slightly with the wisps of wind.  
  
  
  
"........even if it's hard, I promised you to let it go if I broke my promise........"  
  
  
  
The Japanese boy could only grasp pieces of the monologue, as he got closer. Duo's voice was not muffled or shaky. It was soft, and almost sweet, as if filled with sympathy.  
  
  
  
".......just as scary as before. I could hear all of you. Forgive me for forcing you to live with me that hell again......"  
  
  
  
The amethyst eyes were fixed on the sea, as if he could see someone in the distance. Heero was some meters behind now, and until then, he noticed one of Duo's hand was holding some brilliant object in front of himself.  
  
  
  
"........remember? I know all of you understand I couldn't stand it anymore. I couldn't even breathe a second more. I'm just so.....relieved, that I didn't drown in pain. I was about to, but I guess you still take care about me and sent me a savior......"  
  
  
  
To the victims, to his beloved Sister, to the Father, Heero concluded. Duo was talking to them. The boy was asking forgiveness for having broken down the night before.  
  
'I remember once.....'- Heero mused- 'When Duo told me about how the plague had killed his gang and his friend Solo, he told me he couldn't drop the mask because he would break a promise....'  
  
  
  
"So, I've come to pay the price. It's time to let this behind and start again. I don't know if I will miss it, because after all, it was a part of me during a long time....."  
  
  
  
As he spoke those words, Duo lifted his hand to see the shining object one more time. One last time. He closed his eyes for an instant, as in reflection.  
  
Heero's stare locked in the object. It was little, with a yellowish shine. Blue eyes narrowed. It was a ......bronze key.  
  
A key??!! The KEY???!!  
  
  
  
Violet eyes opened again and, in a quick movement, the hand drew backwards and then forward, throwing the key to the sea's depths.  
  
  
  
"Duo, no!" -Heero exclaimed, surprised by the action, as he practically bolted on his feet, running towards the railing, with the intention to jump and recover the key.  
  
But two slender arms held him back in firm grasp.  
  
  
  
"Let it go, Heero" -Duo said as both of them observed how the shining piece disappeared into deep waters.  
  
Heero turned to see him, his eyes totally confused.  
  
  
  
"What.....what did you do?" -he asked almost in protest- "Duo" -he said, taking hold of 02's shoulders as to see him better - "That was 'the' key. It was...the only thing you had that related you to your origin. It was...the first thing you ever had. It could have lead you to your parents...Solo called you after it...."  
  
  
  
Duo's face was serious as he nodded to everything Heero said.  
  
  
  
"You're right. It was all that" -the American pilot affirmed- "Guess I will miss it after all" -he added as he looked towards the sea once again- "But I made a promise, Heero. I would hold the smile as much as I could. I wouldn't...let grief overcome me. I promised them, you know?" -Duo murmured.  
  
He paused, none of them moving in the spot.  
  
  
  
"I promised them my key. When you make a promise, you have to make it upon something you value, or the promise isn't important. As I kept my past hid inside of me, I could keep the key. But now....I broke the promise, Heero"  
  
  
  
"I....didn't know. I'm sorry" -Heero said, feeling guilty he had been partly responsible for Duo's cracking.  
  
  
  
"It's okay. I needed to let it go. It's a symbol of my past. I need to put that awful part of my past away, or won't be able to stand and continue" -Duo said with a sigh.  
  
  
  
Heero vaguely nodded, staring at the horizon. He turned to see his friend, and he was rewarded with a smile in the delicate features.  
  
  
  
"You are such a good friend, you knew it?" -the tenor voice suddenly said- "I'm sorry you had to baby-sit me" -he said with another smile, comfortable enough to crack a joke- "Thanks" -he said the single word, in that tone of his that seemed to light the whole place up.  
  
  
  
"I'm glad you're feeling better" -Heero answered, his lips curving a little, relieved to have his friend back.  
  
  
  
"Isn't a smile much better?" -the boy in clerical clothes said hugging him briefly.  
  
  
  
"Hn" -Heero answered, drawing the American back to study his face- "Only when it's not hiding things. When it is true, Duo, I agree"  
  
  
  
Duo's smile rapidly turned in soft laughter. Trust Heero to be the philosopher. He took a couple of steps back and turned to face the sea, his hands on the railing.  
  
  
  
  
  
//////////When white stars fall upon earth................... and cold is at my heart calling...................... when you don't see how cozy winter can be.............. how can I stop smiling?..................////////////  
  
  
  
And Duo tilted his face again the sea breeze of morning, Heero beside him, listening to every word said in soft English.  
  
  
  
  
  
////////////When a dying flower closes her eyes................. and colored petals go away flying................... when a soft wind brings you a flower's scent........... how can I stop smiling? ................///////////////  
  
  
  
  
  
One pale hand released the metal to make its way towards the boy's chest, gripping the cross.  
  
  
  
/////////////////When a tear turns into a smile................. and among dark is a light shining............... when the smile talks about a miracle............. how can I stop smiling? ................////////  
  
  
  
  
  
Slowly, Duo opened his eyes, taking into the view of the sun blooming from the sea. He felt the blue gaze upon him, so he finished:  
  
  
  
/////////////When a storm darkens a blue sky................. To my faith my heart is relying................... And since my faith is built over a smile.............. How can I stop smiling?.................////////////  
  
  
  
The L2 youngster sighed happily as he faced his friend. He understood what Heero meant by his gestures.  
  
And Heero's smile told him: 'I know'  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The End.  
  
***Shinigami's Voice***  
  
  
  
Author's Notes: That's the price. I told you it was necessary for you to understand this story that you first read "Musings" , which is the fic that explains the meaning of the key. I just thought it was better for Duo to let go of it, because it's like a reminder of how he was the key for Death to take his friends away.  
  
Well, I know this is short, but it's the conclusion, so forgive me about it. I also couldn't picture how was Duo going to face the other pilots, but if any of you has ideas to make an epilogue, I'll be grateful. Hope you guys like this fic. Please, leave me a review. Don't go without giving me a comment. Reviews are my greatest joy. Please, nice people, review, k?  
  
I am dying to do a one-part kind of songfic about Duo playing the guitar, would you guys like to come and read it? Next fic is "Lyrics from the Soul" .....I promise it will be touching. 


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